My Experience With a Newborn So Far

Now I understand when they say "sleepless nights" and "challenges of breastfeeding." Despite reading on the subject, I don't know exactly until when this phase will last. I'm just taking it one day at a time, learning about motherhood with the support of my husband and our family.

There were times when I got frustrated after doing everything that had to be done yet the baby kept crying. The diaper had been changed, we just had a breastfeeding session, and lullabies had been sung. People around me were asleep, snoring even, and I wished I also had the same opportunity to rest.

The pressure was there from day 1, to know what we're supposed to do as parents. I just listened to pieces of advice (most were unsolicited), but did not really do them all. Once I cried due to lack of sleep, tiredness, and knowing that I also had to recover from childbirth. My wound, postpartum bleeding, and painful wrists due to edema worried me as I also had to carry the baby.

It's funny when you see it on reels, but another frustrating scene is when the baby cries whenever he's put on the bed or crib after getting him to sleep in your arms. Hours went by so fast... It's already morning. Oh, wouldn't it be nice to walk outside so the baby could catch some healthy sunlight?

While there were times when breastfeeding came easy with a duration of about 20 minutes, there were also times when it seemed endless. It's okay if he wakes up every 2-3 hours for feeding, but there were instances when I had to breastfeed every hour. People said there's no need to worry and that I just need to breastfeed on demand, but I couldn't help but worry if the baby is getting enough. This is despite seeing signs that indeed he is (wet diapers, gaining weight, sucking and swallowing). Currently, I'm doing the cradle hold and side-lying positions. For his sleep pattern, the longest he achieved is 5 hours.

One time, a change in our routine helped. We went to the mall for the first time and I got him a stroller. That was liberating. And writing this post too.

Someday, this will only be a memory.