My Greatest Fears
It amazes me how lists of greatest fears could drastically change as we age. When I was younger, it was all about the physical. Today, at 30, I honestly and courageously confront the question "what do I fear the most?"
2. Finding it hard to be inspired. I fear not doing things with vigor as I used to, or falling out of love with the endeavors I once felt passionate about. Those things that made me smile as the sun rose, and as I closed my eyes to sleep at night (albeit tired).
3. Losing faith. I fear the day when I would only believe the things I see or prove with logic, when there is supposed to be something bigger out there, watching us, designing the scheme of things and putting order amidst all the chaos.
4. Being incapable of receiving love. Which is more difficult: To love or to be loved? I fear succumbing to fear itself, because it could lead someone to refuse kindness, doubt affection and build walls. But if fear can be embraced as we take the plunge, then the probable pain will just be worth it.
5. Not making an impact. As someone with a media and teaching background, I always aimed for a cognitive or behavioral change. If I can be a positive force in the lives of my students in any way, then my purpose will be fulfilled. If they would merely memorize, cheat, or let someone else do the job to get a good grade, then I'd consider myself a failure. If students would only learn the ideas from books but not the values from experience and engaging in lessons, then I'd better seek a better place where I can make a substantial contribution.
When I get old, I'd love to stare at photos of my youth and perhaps traces left on outdated yet still existing Facebook profiles. By then, I hope to be able to tell myself that I made wise use of time to express ideas, find inspiration, have faith, receive love and make an impact.
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