Removing Facebook Friends

At this time when we have more time for reflecting than commuting, are you one of those who check existing Facebook connections and remove some of them? Well I am. But unlike others who announce it on Facebook, it's been a while since I started doing it silently. But after deleting a good number, perhaps it's nice to put in writing some sort of criteria when doing so.

Let me start by saying that this idea of reducing my social network was inspired by the Dunbar's number. Basically, it says that "The tightest circle has just 5 people - loved ones. That's followed by successive layers of 15 (good friends), 50 (friends), 150 (meaningful contacts), 500 (acquaintances) and 1500 (people you can recognize). People migrate in and out of these layers, but the idea is that space has to be carved out for any new entrants."

This claim is supported by science, and by my own experiences. Just as this quarantine due to the pandemic made us realize the important things to keep, the same applies to relationships. So where am I exactly in the process? From around 1000+ friends, I now have 818.

I consider all of the following when removing someone:

1. Will it affect them if I do it? If they wouldn't probably care, then it might be just fine.

2. Does the person seem to be active on Facebook? I check if the last post is dated 2019 or earlier.

3. Do we engage with each other's posts? Even if the person seems to not post often, if there's mutual engagement, then it may be worthwhile to keep the connection.

These three things provide an easy-to-follow guide for re-evaluating my Facebook connections. You might have your own criteria, but I believe this is a good way to maintain one's social network. As people would often say, it's not about the number but the quality.

Another good reason for doing this is to limit the number of those who could see your friends-only posts. You would want to share these with friends who care. And since my reason for keeping the app is to have means to contact friends, a question I keep in mind is "Will they likely be there in times of need? Will I also be there for them?"